THE MINISTER FACED WITH DELICATE MARITAL CRISES: THE CASE OF A HOMOSEXUAL HUSBAND

Abstract

This article deals with the case of a homosexual husband, whose wife came to seek assistance from the author of this paper. She found herself at a painful crossroads after realizing her husband's sexual orientation, followed by meeting another man whom she felt fulfilled her needs. During their session the author, as a pastoral minister, attempted to determine the steps that she should take in order to gain control of her life again on both a spiritual and psychological level. At the same time, the minister sought to help the woman remove the hurdles that prevented her from attaining wholeness. There are many complicated questions, theological as well as psychological, involved in this situation, such as homosexuality and divorce, all generating feelings of inadequacy and guilt. Reflecting on what happened, the author claims that he would nowadays handle the situation differently. In addition, he decided that, given the insoluble impasse of her marriage, she should continue her life with the responsibility of her choice. Another important issue to be considered is the handling of the painful feelings that prompted her to see a professional, who could help her recover from the emotional trauma which had been ailing her. Her counselor’s pastoral approach would also be important to help her realign herself with her church community and its teachings. Finally, through recourse to theological quotations an assessment is made concerning the implications of the divorce on a theological level, including the importance of confession, penance, and holy communion as sacramental aides towards healing and wholeness. Finally, it is explicitly pointed out that the Church allows divorce under certain conditions by exercising discernment, thus helping people to get out of desperate marital impasses and follow the way of Christ.